Truth, Kindness and Empathy
Sometimes, people say the most hurtful things under the pretense of honesty. “I’m just telling the truth,” they claim. But when you take aim at someone—who might possess wealth, beauty, kindness, and even perfect teeth—but happens to be short, something entirely out of their control, you have to ask yourself: what’s the real purpose of your words? Are they meant to uplift or tear someone down?
And what exactly is “your truth”? Is it the kind of “truth” Søren Kierkegaard talks about in the subjectivity of truth, where it’s all based on personal experience, relative only to you? Funny, the one thing I remember from my freshman philosophy class back in college, possibly the only useful lesson I took away from my third-world education. (I’ll have to blog about that sometime.) Since then, I’ve earned two master’s degrees and am working on a doctorate in the US, so here’s some advanced wisdom: “A false tooth is still a true denture.”
The point is, don’t insist your version of truth on someone else. Sure, that person might be short compared to you, but to ants, she’s a towering giant, and guess what? The ants don’t even care. What’s the real purpose of your truth? To demoralize someone? To build them up? To make the world better or to make enemies?
Here we will use the ABCDE model of positivity
In this scenario, it is a reflection on how people can wield “honesty” in a way that’s less about being truthful and more about tearing others down. In Filipino culture, “honesty” can often come in the form of backhanded compliments and unsolicited life advice. It’s like a national sport, where people feel compelled to tell you, “You’ve gained weight!” or the classic, “When are you getting married?” Sure, one might have packed on a few pounds and still be flying solo at 40, but does that mean I need a play-by-play of my life from Tita Gloria? Nope!
A – Ask yourself: What’s the real purpose of your words? Are they building someone up, or are they aimed at belittling something they can’t change? Reflect on why you’re sharing this “truth.”
B – Balance your perspective: Instead of focusing on someone’s flaws (especially those they can’t control), shift your view to acknowledge the full spectrum of who they are—their strengths, kindness, or efforts. Recognize that everyone has both positive and challenging aspects.
C – Consider the impact of your words: Think about how the other person might feel. If your “truth” only brings harm, is it really worth saying? Words can be weapons or gifts—choose wisely.
D – Decide to be empathetic: Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone nitpicked something about you that’s unchangeable? Your empathy will guide you toward kindness rather than cruelty.
E – Elevate others: Use your words to build others up. Highlight the things they may not see in themselves. Kindness has a ripple effect, and elevating others not only helps them but brings positivity back into your own life.
